The life of a young widowed father with the will to help others with advice and positivity.

The Aim

 

What is the purpose of this website / blog?

Well that’s a good question as you may already be aware of other similar sites or blogs. However there is certainly no competition when you realise the subject matter and I am proud to note the main one I know of on my links page.

I don’t really know if the point of my site is the same as others but when thinking through whether to do this or not I came to the conclusion that I don’t even think it matters. Another blog for a similar situation is just another persons point of view in explaining how they feel or felt when dealing with some very difficult circumstances. Plus I plan to try and help others along the way and of course no two people are the same and deal with things differently especially when it comes to the subject of grief.

So Why?

Firstly; I personally find it very difficult to truly express and articulate my feelings about those difficult 3.5 years. Also more crucially how I feel about the passing of wife and my life now as a widowed single parent. I found very early on in this ordeal that it would help me immensely if I wrote down the events in my life and how I felt about them. I lost count the number of times I have been asked how I was feeling and I would say “yeah I’m doing ok…. I have my ups and downs blah blah blah”. Though in reality I was lost in a sea of different emotions and feelings trying to make sense of it all.

Writing down the jumbled mess in my head helped me unpick each feeling, emotion or thought and enabled me to both understand them and work toward dealing with it and / or accepting it. I constantly get the urge to write things down so why not make it public as it may help others.

Secondly; Helen herself was a very caring person and also a professional chatter box (like our Daughter is now) and was never shy or worried about talking to anyone about her situation. She was always there to lend advice or help to anyone needing it. Helen also was very keen to raise awareness of cancer and specifically breast cancer. Its doesn’t matter how young or old you are there is always that possibility it could happen to anyone. So for these reasons I know Helen would approve.

Thirdly; Through my life and experiences I have grown to become a very positive person which certainly helped Helen, myself and the family get through this terrible journey. To be honest with all that I have had to deal with its amazing that I can still be positive about life but in all the twists and turns, ups and downs of our situation I was able to realise the positives which in turn helped give Helen that extra boost to deal with whatever as being thrown at her. Now Helen has passed and for the sake of myself and my children I have no intention of letting that positivity go as we all move through the grieving process. Although very testing at times I do feel I have approached and dealt/deal with the loss in a positive way which in turn has given my kids a great start in their own grieving process. Together with that I have a huge urge to attempt to help others who have been forced into similar situations by no fault of their own.

Hopefully this will help us all realise the simple things in life and to take it in rather than being too busy with life to actually live it and remember it. You may also take snippets from what I write and stand for and use that for yourself which for me would be a job well done .

Another aim is to try and make this light hearted rather than depressing which won’t always be easy.

Thank you for visiting this site and I hope it is helpful.

Michael x

2 comments on “The Aim

  1. Rachel Lovatt says:

    Hi i have read your story and have found it very close to home. Different circumstances but i married my husband on may 26th 2013 after being together 12 years. My husband died very suddenley on thursday 13th june 2013 after being married 18 days. No illness just found him next to me when i woke up for work. We have a daughter aged 4 years, i am 33 years old and my husband just 31 years.
    Rachel xxx

    • Michael Adams says:

      Hi Rachel,

      Such a sad story and I feel for you. Losing someone close is so hard. I am only 5 month on but life does slowly get easier although the grief comes back in waves. I guess those waves get less and less. I just focus on the time I had rather than what I have lost but this isnt always easy.

      Wish you all the best x

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