I know I have made it clear on The Aim page why I have started doing this blog but I have no idea why I suddenly had the urge to do it. It just seemed like the right thing to do and before I knew it I had developed the website and I was ready to write my first blog post. I hesitated at that point wondering what to do…. 2 reason why I continued.
1. Because I had got this far I may as well give it a go
2. I figured something was pushing me in this direction so I should just go with it as I knew I had something to give
So, I wrote some blogs, launched it and the response has been fantastic.
So why at the weekend have I again questioned myself about it. Questions like..
1. Why am I actually doing this?
2. Should I continue to focus on it?
3. If I do continue how do I reach out to more people? After all the point of this is to help people so I need to find the people who may think this could help them.
After thinking it through I realised that a lot of it boils down to the fact that I don’t want this to be about my story. About my wife and her struggles. Obviously that is the background but I want to steer this towards how we dealt with adversity in a positive way with humour and laughter and how that has continued on. This is obviously in my power to take it in the right direction.
With that my goal is to try to help people but I didn’t even know if I can help people with what I have to say. Should I focus on helping others when my own grief is still so raw?
But then I think about the updates I see from the WAY foundations Facebook page with often regular questions popping up from people. I have my answers to these question. Not necessarily the right answers for people but a different perspective with that positive twist I usually give.
I also questioned whether this is another thing for me to do to stop me thinking about the reality of what has happened. I often just find stuff to do in life to keep my mind occupied though I knew I would still write stuff down as I do that anyway because that helps me. Many times have I spent long nights just tapping away trying to extract some of the thoughts and emotions in my head. Even this post started taking its shape at 1am in the morning.
With all the writing I have been doing I already have about 30 blog posts themes ready to piece together. So why not share this?
I guess we all doubt ourselves sometimes and any new venture will exacerbate the doubt.
So still with these doubts the answers were given to me in I think an amazing way.
Last night I took some of my family out for some food to thank them for their help with the kids. I popped to the toilet with my daughter and on the way back the lady who owned the restaurant came to talk to me. She told me about someone she knew who found my site and who is going through some hardship of her own right now. She said my site was helping her get through these difficult times and that she checks it daily for any updates.
I was astonished. All those doubts faded away and it made me realise why I am doing this and that actually I can help people. In fact I know I already am and if this blog helps just one person then it’s met its target. Any more is a pure bonus for me.
Of course I should keep doing this and I should work harder to reach out to more people who may benefit from what I have to say.
I know I want to help people and I believe I can. I know Helen would approve as she was like me and would always lend her ear and help where she could.
So I shall continue to post blog updates and I will try and work out ways to reach out as far and as wide as I can.
If anyone out there can help me reach out further please get in touch.