The life of a young widowed father with the will to help others with advice and positivity.

About Me

Who am I?

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Well I was lucky enough to meet the most amazing woman and fell in love with her. We got married and like most others who get married we started what we thought was going to be a long and happy life together. Raising children, holidays, day to day life through too schooling, children becoming adults, to retirement. Then when we both hit 100 years old we happily and peacefully slip away in each others arms one bright sunny evening.

I am sure you know by now that this is not the way it happened for us. Through the difficult 3.5 years I had to not only be a husband, friend and father but I also became a councillor and carer. Not to mention continue to support family with a full time job and take on the role of a home maker. Oh and raise a new baby.

Luckily though I was raised to not be afraid of a bit of hard work so just got on with the job with one direction; no I didn’t have a boy band to help me. That direction and focus was to keep my family together and alive. Although I lost my beautiful wife and my kids have lost their mummy I know I didn’t fail. I can sleep well knowing that I had done absolutely everything I possibly could for my family and for Helen all the way through. I also know that it was not our decision to be dealt this hand and in the end I don’t think there was anything anyone could’ve really done to change the outcome. I feel blessed to have even met Helen let alone be lucky enough marry her and spend 7 years amazing years with her. Although we were given many mountains to climb in those 7 years all I can remember is happiness and laughter. Seems crazy to think that baring in mind the circumstances surrounding us but it’s true. We cried many times but those time were always quickly replaced with laughter. After all we didn’t think there was any other way to live. Even with cancer and hardship laughter got us through.

So who am I? Well… I guess I am just your average guy who just wants a happy fulfilling life. I work as an IT Manager and since this journey started I sometimes sit in a meetings wondering what on earth we are all talking about. If you strip back life you realise that this stuff just doesn’t really matter. Although it does pay the bills.

I now know my new direction in life are my two children of which are just amazing in themselves and I love them more than I could ever express. I also know that I myself need to find a new direction in life. I realise that my life will never be the same; not better, not worse but just different.

For me personally though I need my very own vision and direction. I am certainly not the type of person to just sit down watching movies or playing computer games all the time in the evenings while my children are asleep although I do enjoy that sometimes.

I just have this immense urge to somehow help people by bringing our story to them and more importantly the optimism, strength and positivity we  lived by.

I just want to help others, raise awareness and give people my account of how I dealt with certain situation about grief and loss. Inspire not only bereaved people but just anyone who is facing difficulty to somehow impress my positivity on them to help them through.

I would love to be able to raise money for the the foundations and charities that helped us and so many others through difficult times. Raise money for cancer research as I know first hand how devastating cancer is. I would love the opportunity to speak to people (adults and children) who need a boost, advice or direction to help them. However I realise I do still have a full time job and am a single parent so time is limited. So for me this blog is a great start and even if I help just one person it will make me very happy.

Please feel free to contact me!

4 comments on “About Me

  1. tj says:

    thank you mirror on-line for bringing this story, i am sure many people like me are now reassured when reading this that some of the feelings and ways of dealing with grief are very personal yet many similarities with the way in which we all face each day, minute and second. it seems the world carries on whilst we are all in this bubble but hope and a smile really will support a positive but slow progress. life is for celebrating, making memories and building on them. all the best with engaging a wider audience and giving comfort to those who require support during and after this final chapter of a loved one. TJ

    • Michael Adams says:

      Thanks for your comment and yes it’s certainly what I found too. Most people in our situation seem to have the same question, worries and troubles. Hopefully I come put a positive spin on some of that.

  2. Lydia says:

    Dear mike,
    I’m glad I’ve found this blog to follow your story about you, your children and the heroic battle the lovely Helen went through. I doubt you remember me, or will want to remember me, but I think about the 4 of you daily and miss you all loads. Can’t believe how much the kiddies have grown too, happy birthday to Marley for Saturday. Take care xx

  3. Anna Ingolfs says:

    Dear Michael,
    Thank you for your courage to share your story and open up your life for others who are grieving. I was 35 when my husband died of cancer and we had three young daughters, whom I raised up on my own and are now grown up women, 17 years later.
    I kept diaries about my husband’s illness and death and the weeks and months after his death. Now, all those years later, I have published my diaries in a book that will be available on Amazon in April. The book is a combination of literate story writing and a self-help book.
    I wish you all the best in future, and hope the opening up your life will help you on your own path in grief. I know it will help others.
    Please look at our website http://www.losingaspouse.com
    With warm wishes
    Anna

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